September 09, 2007

I'm Getting Old!

I didn't write it, but it was too good not to post on here:


When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious
diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with
walking twenty-five miles to school every morning...uphill BOTH ways.
yadda, yadda, yadda. And I remember promising myself that when I grew up,
there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on
kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to
know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in
the card catalog!! There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter...with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to
hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had
to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk
over the beginning and @#*% it all up!

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and
somebody else called they got a busy signal, THAT'S IT! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your bookie, a collections agent, you just didn't know. You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with
high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like "Space Invaders" and "asteroids" and the graphics sucked ass! Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder And faster and faster until you died! JUST LIKE LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium
seating! All the seats were the same height. If a tall guy or some old broad with
a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed!
Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels
and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control! You had to use a
little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. DO YOU HEAR WHAT I'M SAYING!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had
to use the stove or go build a frigging fire... imagine that! If we wanted
popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the
stove like a frikkin idiot.

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too
easy. You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1981!

The over 25 Crowd


Anonymous said...

Try going back to "The over 50 crowd".But it was a good read all the same.Good for a laugh.

Hays said...

We had an Odyssey. Heard of it? Didn't think so.

garobbins said...

My dad had an even earlier system which the name eludes me, but all it consisted of were two knobs on a console and the ten different games were just two lines and a ball of different lengths and sizes.
My neighbour had ColecoVision, remember that one?
We eventually upgraded to the Vic 20 cause we couldn't affore the Commmodore 64!

Anonymous said...

like i said -- you've got moss growing on ya! i've seen more get up and go in a barnicle! lol