March 03, 2011

130 Days to 10k (a new online training program coming soon to Amazon)

I've just completed the yet to be released 130 days to 10k training program! Here's the general outline of what you can expect:

The first six weeks of this program involves heavy drinking and partying like it's 1999. You will awake daily to a hangover the likes of which you've never dreamt possible and with the stark realization that you were actually born in the 70's, NOT the 80's, or more importantly the 90's. This trivial fact however should not dissuade you from attempting to out dance kids half your age while scaling dance floor speakers. (Side note, expect to be promptly removed by a nineteen year old bouncer who could crush you like a little girlie man. He may also drop you into a taxi against your will and direct the driver to the nearest old age home)

IF you can survive the first six weeks...only 7.3258% manage to do so, you will then be subjected to a monthly game of 'Build Em Up / SMASH EM DOWN' based around your own delusional expectations and belief that you're somehow deserving of a better fate, HA! You should feel lucky we didn't just amputate one of your legs from the start! This will continue for another ten weeks and though you may attempt to complete 10km in a similar fashion, it simply will not be the same:
(photo thanks to my fantastic running partner Debra Nicol. NYD 10k 1h28m)

Your final exam will be the most challenging part of this 130 days to 10k as you will eventually gain the freedom you've so actively yearned for. However you'll once more be subjected to the 'Build Em Up / SMASH EM DOWN' and without any prior warning. The big difference this time though is that the smash down will be completely internal, MWAH HA HA!! YOU and you along will have to come to terms with this and you'll struggle with the fact that you can no longer extol your anger towards a separate entity (an X-ray machine). YOU will have to realize on your own accord that you ARE in fact human and that you will not be able to simply pick up where you left off almost four months prior. Try as you may, your own body has been decommissioned with a purpose. This purpose at it's core has been disguised and designed to make you stronger both physically and more importantly mentally.

YOU once thought you loved the sport of running but did you ever really grasp or fully appreciate just how much a part of your life it had become? Did you ever stop to smell the roses as it were, to step back and think for two seconds how fortunate you were to simply be able to run, let alone afford a life and lifestyle of running around the world in the some of the most scenic environments upon the planet. Had you ever explored just what this simple act of a daily run truly meant to you? Though you would have emphatically answered YES to all of these questions just 130 days ago, you should now appreciate and understand all of these principles on a deeper level. A level that you were not even fully aware existed until we were able to strip you down to your absolute core, before attempting to build you back up again.

Your final exam will initially consist of completing the first 10km run you've attempted in over four and a half months (treadmill 1.5% incline, 45m58s, painful but oh so good). Your final grade however will be determined 100% around which song you are able to submit that best sums up your journey back to health. And KNOW THIS YOUNG JEDI, there is only ONE correct answer:



Jason Eads said...

Too good, Gary, too good! Love the snazzy new pic on the blog, by the way!

Scott said...

Does this equate to 1300 days to a 100K? That would mean the first 420 days would be spent drinking and partying... sounds like an ultra to me!

Candice said...

Some good points there. We really don't appreciate what we have until it is gone. I recently realized this when I got a nasty cold. Couldn't run, could barely breathe, and I thought, how could I forget how AMAZING it is to be able to just breathe!

garobbins said...

Yeah breathing is definitely amazing and gets taken for granted, haha!

Hmm, 420 days of drinking and do realize the irony of your number selection there as well don't you?

Hone said...

Man, that training plan sux.

Here is my song that describes my 2 year journey back from a torn adductor muscle.


Scott said...

Yes Gary, irony was noted while I typed that over a bag of Doritos... duuuuude. Speaking of breathing, had a 41 year old friend with CF receive a double lung transplant about a month ago, makes you really appeciate how easy (injuries aside) it is to open the door and go for a run or bike.
Also I've realized by the many serious people who comment on your posts and the comments that I generally make, that I am as immature as my wife says...duuuuude!

Leslie said...

Aaaaah, but you're still Gary Robbins, Newfie Ninja! Dancin' fool! Super Entertaining! Super Kinetic Energetic Superman! And most importantly, all-round Good Shit.

garobbins said...

Evan, great song but two years, damn! Welcome back, that's a hell of a journey.
Scott, share your snacks dammit!
Leslie, ha, the Newfie Ninja was on the DL, now I gots ta show my skillz at ma next ultra...which is still a ways off but I'm getting closer every day!