I've just completed the yet to be released 130 days to 10k training program! Here's the general outline of what you can expect:
The first six weeks of this program involves heavy drinking and partying like it's 1999. You will awake daily to a hangover the likes of which you've never dreamt possible and with the stark realization that you were actually born in the 70's, NOT the 80's, or more importantly the 90's. This trivial fact however should not dissuade you from attempting to out dance kids half your age while scaling dance floor speakers. (Side note, expect to be promptly removed by a nineteen year old bouncer who could crush you like a little girlie man. He may also drop you into a taxi against your will and direct the driver to the nearest old age home)
IF you can survive the first six weeks...only 7.3258% manage to do so, you will then be subjected to a monthly game of 'Build Em Up / SMASH EM DOWN' based around your own delusional expectations and belief that you're somehow deserving of a better fate, HA! You should feel lucky we didn't just amputate one of your legs from the start! This will continue for another ten weeks and though you may attempt to complete 10km in a similar fashion, it simply will not be the same:
Your final exam will be the most challenging part of this 130 days to 10k as you will eventually gain the freedom you've so actively yearned for. However you'll once more be subjected to the 'Build Em Up / SMASH EM DOWN' and without any prior warning. The big difference this time though is that the smash down will be completely internal, MWAH HA HA!! YOU and you along will have to come to terms with this and you'll struggle with the fact that you can no longer extol your anger towards a separate entity (an X-ray machine). YOU will have to realize on your own accord that you ARE in fact human and that you will not be able to simply pick up where you left off almost four months prior. Try as you may, your own body has been decommissioned with a purpose. This purpose at it's core has been disguised and designed to make you stronger both physically and more importantly mentally.
YOU once thought you loved the sport of running but did you ever really grasp or fully appreciate just how much a part of your life it had become? Did you ever stop to smell the roses as it were, to step back and think for two seconds how fortunate you were to simply be able to run, let alone afford a life and lifestyle of running around the world in the some of the most scenic environments upon the planet. Had you ever explored just what this simple act of a daily run truly meant to you? Though you would have emphatically answered YES to all of these questions just 130 days ago, you should now appreciate and understand all of these principles on a deeper level. A level that you were not even fully aware existed until we were able to strip you down to your absolute core, before attempting to build you back up again.
Your final exam will initially consist of completing the first 10km run you've attempted in over four and a half months (treadmill 1.5% incline, 45m58s, painful but oh so good). Your final grade however will be determined 100% around which song you are able to submit that best sums up your journey back to health. And KNOW THIS YOUNG JEDI, there is only ONE correct answer: